Monkey see Monkey do

2012-02-12T16:53:00.001-08:00

Fuck man these tyr trunks gives me some real abrasions. And I just ordered one more zz

2012-02-12T16:24:00.001-08:00

That feeling comes at times still, but just like sprint sets, I'm kinda used to it, just gotta clench both fists as hard as you can and imagine a better place and happier times. Then it'll just fadeaway like that.

Piano or guitarrrrr

2012-02-11T01:14:00.001-08:00

I hate disappointment, to be disappointed or to cause disappointment. It just suck to know you can't live up to your expectations or the expectations other have for you. Its just fucked up to know you have been training so hard but still losing games no matter how small they are, winning is not just an idea, it's a mentality ( hence the phrase winning mentality I guess hurhur ). At least to me it means to want to win at everything no matter the importance . And it's worse to have play against someone, or at least lose to someone who's having fun while I'm not, it sucks, I wanna be having fun too, to be honest the pressure sometimes to play a perfect play and make a perfect defense, I do understand its the requirements for a higher level play too. I don't hate serious plays, I enjoy them too cause the satisfaction of pulling it off is pretty awesome but it's just that I miss the more carefree plays where I had a lot of fun. ( you would realize by now all this isn't in any order, just throwing whatever I have on my mind off). Talking to the aboys, I miss being part of a close knitted team. And campfire made me miss jc days too.

On a randomer than the current random note, my sugar intake is pretty crazy nowadays. So is my liquid intake lol.

2012-02-09T08:11:00.000-08:00

i need a valentine day date =( buttttt its not going to be anymore than a date cause my life dosent permit it so hahaha. fuck ok im lying, im going to be training on valentine's day and submitting uni application documents and teaching tuition and yes get this delivering a valentine's day gift for someone else.

2012-02-08T22:17:00.001-08:00

Stay away, but not forever. Stay hidden, but not gone. Stay at a distance reachable within my distant dreams but not beyond my wildest imagination for I am strongest when i am hopeful and broken when there is none.

2012-02-08T08:12:00.001-08:00

there are like ten thousand friends i wanna meet up with but i keep meeting my one or two friends ten thousand times

2012-02-08T07:07:00.001-08:00

farkkkkkkkkkkkkkking bad day. keep losing track of the man im marking

2012-02-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

swimming is therapeutic, although some might not agree with me. its a good way to push your tolerance too. from screaming in agony, now only a simple clench of fist and deep breaths are required to push past that moment of pure muscle pain and agony. it helps in life too, just a simple clench of fist and you are able to push everything under the surface, its really effective really, but this period has been the hardest ive trained for a long time man. FIGHTING!!

2012-02-06T08:47:00.000-08:00

omg THE AVENGERSSSS may4th. im totally looking forward to that movie, and since we are on the topic of movies now, i realized i still havent watched transformers dark of the moon =( wtf so long already still havent watched?!?!

omg these weeks have become more tiring with all the swimming sets slowly coming in to haunt our asses. im sure i can go even faster, or do i just lack the motivation or the swimming partner to push me abit more. im tired after the swim sets definitely but i dont know if i could have pushed myself even further than that. i really need someone whos at my speed, not too fast not too slow, so that i can push him and let him push me to go faster. think im understanding the plays though, training looks better nowadays. oh fug 2mrw is gym day. i hate gym sessions apart from the fact it makes me feel accomplished. but fucking dead the next day though.

heh orientation with the j1s was super fun, guess uni orientation is going to be different but i really liked jc orientation, going back makes me feel so young again. revitalized lol. i missed my own og days and my jc days, from a (very debatable) shy kid to a student who walks around as if he owns the school. ahh good old days, apart from the grades, i would want to change nothing about school.

i dont blame anyone. not her not god not him nor anyone else. maybe a little bit of me, but for the second time in life i believe in fate being at work. first for us to meet. and second to let us know we just arent fated.

2012-02-01T21:16:00.001-08:00

Realize in polo it's kinda scary cause it's not just legal to exert violence but it's highly encouraged.

2012-01-31T06:01:00.001-08:00

Embarrassing max when your friend is paying for your Sogurt icecream and I dint know Sogurt is self service by weight. I took the smallest cup and made a fucking slurpee out of it :/ embarrassing maxxxx

2012-01-30T06:18:00.001-08:00

Better day, we all love improvements don't we? All at least the illusion of it, until the next bad day comes and you wonder if it was all for naught

2012-01-29T08:01:00.001-08:00

gonna be a better week for polo

2012-01-27T06:56:00.001-08:00

pretty good but i can def be faster and plays can def be smoother

2012-01-26T21:15:00.001-08:00

I don't understand some of these rituals really, not trying to be disrespectful here or anything but how does picking a stick from a giant bunch of others going to answer questions in your life. I'm sure almost all the answers we seek in life can be answered by humans or can be results of human actions. Why pose these questions to divine beings when your child is responsible for his own results, you are responsible for your own health and your asshole boyfriend is responsible for being whether he wants to return to you. Well maybe questions like will I get struck by lightning or will an asteroid fuck us up can be asked I guess.

Conclusion to all this is why believe in something so unreachable when your solutions are closer than expected? But tbh I probably used to pray a little especially I'm desperate in some situations, but back then those situations are like when I lose an exercise book or something, kinda insignificant now haha, but as I grow up I realized that many of these praying scenarios are nothing divine but a mix of human actions and coincidence.

2012-01-26T15:46:00.001-08:00

I hope one day, I could say that I got over you as easily too

2012-01-26T08:02:00.000-08:00

going nuts with that song, its just too good. jebal na tonagajima i think or something, i dont love korean but that song is awesome haha

damn, strength test today, more like weak test, a test to reveal how weak you truly are. and im pretty weak as it is. fuckkkkkkk gotta do better than this man, i have big dreams and big ambitions!! why like this, why my shooting still so weird =(((((

ive already gave everything down to my pride, i wont give the memories as well. it dosent matter if shes away as long as she can fly higher that way. maybe, just maybe, i start to realize that i fly higher and swim further on my own

2012-01-25T06:02:00.001-08:00

And then..... There are days like this one

2012-01-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

dammit how how how how, its either i give up on a better education or be an asshole, which one would i choose? i always pride myself in having decently high moral values but making the switch would be a real fuckup move man. HOWW

2012-01-19T19:15:00.001-08:00

The game was forgettable enough but the sensation, that feeling that crept from the fingertips all the way to the toes, pure adrenaline, the feeling of beating the odds, literally gave me goosebumps, that's what I'm searching for.

2012-01-19T19:13:00.001-08:00

I'm so fucked for school, just two hours of this English class and I'm yawning my ass off and wishing it will end. My hyperactiveness is on a whole new level man

2012-01-19T07:59:00.001-08:00

every game's a journey i guess. god i fucking hate losing dammit.

2012-01-19T07:38:00.000-08:00

argh im born to be better than this, fuck this shit. this rage mode gotta go away. i need to stop raging people no matter the situation. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk this shit i hate losing. i love beating the odds but well theres a reason the odds isnt in favour

2012-01-18T16:10:00.001-08:00

It's still saddening but im long over the point where I show or where I do something about it

2012-01-18T16:07:00.001-08:00

Still get those little fantasies, just that as time passes, it gets faster to snap out of them. Nowadays it's just snap I'm done

2012-01-18T06:16:00.001-08:00

good training, bad for the body

2012-01-18T06:11:00.001-08:00

its almost a fucking liquid diet the way im drinking sugared drinks

2012-01-17T00:42:00.000-08:00

oh oh and its game on this thursday, im feeling it again, whenever theres something to play for and someone good to play against, this feeling just comes back.

2012-01-17T00:38:00.000-08:00

its so much easier to look at the world through the eyes as a player. calm and calculating but never really affected my emotion. it aint simple, you gotta read what he wants to do and what he might do and how to exploit whatever weakness you find and cover the weaknessess about yourself that you already know. but its still so much easier, you dont give a shit what he thinks about you, your job is to make him hate you as much as possible and better still if you could keep yourself unnoticeable, its much easier then life when you wanna give differenet impressions to different people and where at times you wanna be invisible, you want to be standing out for certain people too. in life, you got to give a shit about everybody's feelings, not too harsh here or this dood will cry etc, in the game, all you have to do is winning. winning is right, anything that attributes to it is consequently right too. easy aint it. i realized that without this, i would probably have gone mad, its probably how i manage to keep my behavious decent in normal life (and yes that is considered decent for me), it keeps me from jumping around hyperactively (more so than usual), at times it keeps me from banging my head on the wall, it keeps me too tired for stupid thoughts of all sorts and it teaches me to slowly analyze stuff and think of everything in a win and lose situation where the only right answer is winning. it helps i guess, at times, when you stop being a person but a player, keeps you grounded and its a wonderful excuse for the most fucked up stuff i do haha. i never thought i would say this but sometimes, i realize i really hate interacting with people, maybe im finally going through the lone wolf phase everyone seems to go through (yea i mature at a much slower pace, i hope that means i die later too). i simply cant lie to myself and i dont want to lie to anyone, i rather keep a distance than hurt myself any further, i can probably keep this distance forever with only my will faltering occasionally, but maybe maybe when theres further proof that a asteroid in a giant jolly face shape is going to fuck earth for good on 21st december, i might muster up some courage on the 20th. or maybe if i develop a super mega terminal virus that says that i will die within a few hours, i would.

2012-01-16T07:58:00.001-08:00

how are you

2012-01-16T07:36:00.000-08:00

as an after thought, maybe i should stop forcing my interests on others. if they arent into it, they arent into it

2012-01-16T05:24:00.001-08:00

Fuck fuck fuck. Doing almost everything right but scoring fuck

2012-01-15T20:42:00.001-08:00

C'mon I can do better than getting angry at little kids

2012-01-15T08:30:00.001-08:00

I'm really over reliant on my iPhone haha. Gotta learn to live without it or gotta learn never to lose it. Fucking awesome day today, celebrated bens birthday, surprised him at lunch hahaha. Sigh awesome friends will be awesome friends forever. Had my mums side reunion dinner today too. And I really miss my grandma all of a sudden, I know its been a year plus but it's like suddenly missing her sigh. Which led me to a whole train of sad thoughts like how I miss mr thong too. Death takes us all in the end.

I've been coming up with my new year resolutions, looked through last years resolutions and realized... The font was terrible and I can't read shit from that post on my iPhone hahaha, but I vaguely remember no vulgarities, oops, apologizing to my friends for things I call them, oops, visiting all my old teachers, fucking big oops cause I never saw mr thong in the end.

This year I'll keep it simple and possible.
Train with an effort equivalent of the passion. I'll train as hard as I love the game, I don't need any other motivation but myself. Let the desire to win and Improve fuel me.

I'll never cry over a girl again. Never ever ever ever ever ever, yea allowed to feel sad occasionally but never to cry. I'm stronger than that, only the foolish open their heart to the person who will tear it apart over and over again. I've learned never to be the first to show hand.

Make sure I do decently in university. Yea took a fuck lot of effort to get into university better make good use of it.

Visiting old teachers and meeting friends. Death takes us all one day( not cursing anyone). Anything can happen so imma stay with these people who made my life awesome while I can.

Male promises you can keep. Well I wanna be a trustworthy person so I guess this is a definite first step. If I don't intend to do something I wot give a definite reply. When I promise, I will do it. If I'm not sure I'll just promise to try haha.

Quit ( insert whatever I promised at nye ).

That's about all for resolutions but there are of course some small points I wish to improve here and there. Perhaps to become more matured and maybe find a girlfriend instead of thinking about an old one or ogling at impossible ones at concerts.

2011 was awesome but it had its really sad moments too. Namely snsd concert and losing mr thong. I have a lot of expectations for 2012!! Fuck the world ending I haven't had enough fun yet!

Typing all this on my phone is really difficult

2012-01-14T20:13:00.001-08:00

Erase all your fears and all your admiration.

2012-01-14T06:19:00.001-08:00

after a drama filled week, we are finally going to the semis. haha gonna face nus at the semis but we wanna do anything we can to go finals for ngeeann.

2012-01-11T08:24:00.001-08:00

argh this new thing is so complicating but it looks so fucking easy in theory. and this new shooting thing is killing my elbows i dunno why too. but i really wanna master it cause it seems like the only recognized way somehow fml.

2012-01-08T05:58:00.001-08:00

watching snsd running man while marking tutees homework hahahaha. obviously my tutees dont have to know about this

2012-01-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

i knew it, for all bad days there would be some decent ones, irrepressible energy!! >D i dont usually use emoticon but this one suits the occasion haha

2012-01-05T16:35:00.001-08:00

I love it when I'm appreciated, maybe deep down that's really why I train so hard

2012-01-05T02:54:00.001-08:00

You don't fall for the same person twice, you just never stopped loving that person

2012-01-04T08:18:00.000-08:00

when i close my eyes i see you, when i block my ears i hear you.

2012-01-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

we were in love by t-ara and davichi is really too good, its good plus its really emo, if i ever learn a korean song, its gotta be this. i loveeee the lyrics (well at least their english translation heh)

(SOYEON): uri saranghaetjana jebal nal ullijima ojik naegen no hanappunya
(HAERI): nuneul gamado boyeo gwireul magadeo deullyeo
(SOYEON & HAERI): jebal nal ttonagajima

(JIYEON):eoduwotdeon nae sarme bichi dweojun saram,,, neomuna seojunghan
saram
(MINKYUNG):haru jinago,, tto jinado,, deo geuriwojyeo,, i norael haneun
jigeumdeo

CHORUS
(SOYEON): uri saranghaetjana jebal nal ullijima ojik naegen no hanappunya
(HAERI): nuneul gamado boyeo~ gwireul magadeo deullyeo~
(SOYEON & HAERI): jebal nal ttonagajima~

(SOYEON):doraolgoet gataseo,, dasi eoljji mollaseo,, eoneuldo neoreul
gidaryeo
(MINKYUNG):neoneun moreuji,, neon moreuji,, apahaneun nal i norael haneun
jigeumdeo

CHORUS
(SOYEON): uri saranghaetjana~jebal nal ullijima nal ddugo tteonagajima~
(HAERI): nuneul gamado boyeo~ gwireul magadeo deullyeo~
(SOYEON & HAERI): jebal nal ttonagajima~
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

RAP
(MINKYUNG):sessangwa neo deuljunge taekharamyeon hana nae jeonbul ppaesadeo
neoramutneunyeon nan joha najina bamina saranghae nang mongmareun ja neol
ijen itja ireon naui gatjanheun dajimi tto dasi nareul ullyeo deullyeo
(HYOMIN):noege baraneungeon ojik neoya neo eobsin amugeotdeo halseu omneun
naya i norael deureumyeon jebal neo deorawa deorawa

2nd CHORUS
(HYOMIN):saranghamyeon halsurok~ jeomjeom yawieoman ga~ ojik naegen neo
hanappunya~
(HAERI):uri saranghaetjana~ jebal nal ullijima~ nal ddugo tteonagajima~

2nd Rap
(HWAYOUNG): yeah uh,uh, gyeolgeuk neon doraseo naneun tto magaseo jajonsim
da beorigeo michincheo neol ttaraseo gaseumi doeryeo nareul dageuchigeo
malhasseo
sesanghae hanappunin neol irchineun mallaesseo naneun tto eutneuncheo
geunyang meoljjeonghanchok noege beuruneun majimak nauie i norae

(SOYEON):jebal nal ttonagajima

lol go find the english yourself, im too lazy, good things have to be worked hard for haha

2012-01-04T06:32:00.001-08:00

I won't admire any of them because I intend to surpass all of them.

Without speed and stamina I'm nothing special, but lucky, that's where I'm special, I just have to swim with every bit of strength for every ball, that's all I'm good for and that's what I am good for. Don't stop, don't ever forget your greatest weapons

2012-01-04T05:59:00.001-08:00

45 min without a sack or a goal that's fucking pathetic for a flank

2012-01-04T05:37:00.001-08:00

Bad bad bad bad bad bad I know I can play better than this, what's the point of this raw speed when it's not getting any bloody effect? I can play Better than this and I will, this is one of those days it feels like shit, but I'm sure a nice day will come soon as long as I keep going at it.

2012-01-02T15:54:00.001-08:00

The first love is the sweetest, but the first cut deepest

2012-01-02T02:20:00.001-08:00

Aw I read this on twitter, there are two reasons people don't talk about something, either it dosent mean anything to them or it means everything to them. I don't know which is it anymore

2012-01-01T15:59:00.001-08:00

On shitty days like this, I just wanna retreat into my own zone. Awake and earning money at seven plus argh

2012-01-01T06:32:00.000-08:00

members are energy pills, vitamins and motivation. -taeyeon

wise words we shouldnt forget HAHAHA, but yea if i live and work with my teammates, i'll be a real bundle of energy too.. hmm more like i'll be a bigger bundle of energy heh.

2012-01-01T03:33:00.000-08:00

yesterday night was another awesome new year's eve with the team haha, this tradition gotta carry on forever and ever man. some things are just too good to be changed. but damn helipad cant really see the fireworks, we managed to catch glimpses of the reflections though hahaha. something we all set out to do in year 2012, lets hope by the end of next year we can be happy that we have achieved everything we set out to do. to quit smoking, to wish that we will always be happy together, to find a job, to do well in school, to do well in school, to do well in school (yea it was repeated 3 times assholes), to find a girlfriend, to find a girlfriend (yea that was repeated twice as well, to get into the u23 team, to learn to swim, to get into med school and shit i forgot about junsongs one hahaha. damn but lets hope 2012 is awesome and on nye 2012 we can come together and realize we have achieved at least one thing we set out to do and did it well. oh wait i remembered junsongs one already, he wants to ord in 2012 when his ord date is in 2013 HAHAHA. that accounts for everybody present that night. i hope you have one thing you set out to do too my dear chau, well, at least one thing. for this team of fucking awesome people, no amount of time spent is considered enough for me. ok scratch that, i just remembered that my last years resolution was to cut down on the effs and the c's. so the night went like helipad, then zhihongs dads place then followed by me and zhihong wasting 2 hours plus on the road hahaha. yes life shouldnt always be about rushing somewhere in a hurry or completing something important or learning something at every bloody moment (contrary to what my dad thinks). im only twenty, hectic life can wait, im sure i will get a shit load of it in the future. thinking back, 3 years ago, i was playing drunk chess, karaoking, drinking and laughing with friends that will never leave me and calling the girl of my dreams at midnight, 3 years on, it was proven that they are indeed friends who will never leave, but dreams can be fleeting.

haha its pretty funny actually, how i have to deliberately make write a message that looks like its a spammed one to a particular person when all these years, i have been trying to do it the other way round, writing a spammable message that has a personal touch to it. when in fact all i really want is to write one message so long and so heartfelt that i can make a rock cry with it. hahaha exaggeration max. i dont look forward to finding new love in 2012, but i do look forward to letting lost love die.

to all those reading this too, happy new year, looking forward to another year of sharing my not so mundane life here. i'll think hard about my resolutions and write it down sometime soon. haha gai jayo! i think thats goodbye in korean

2011-12-31T05:10:00.001-08:00

Somehow I'm back here where we last parted, maybe forever. The mood is just is different indeed now that today is one of those new years eve i celebrate with the people who make me happiest. But it's like every place where used to have our footsteps is deeply embedded in my head

2011-12-30T08:18:00.001-08:00

cant wait for nye 2mrw, meeting the boys again like tradition dictates hahaha.

all i want for christmas is you!! snsd version!!

2011-12-30T08:03:00.001-08:00

training is the hardcore shitzz man, im seriously dying here. yet, its this feeling that mysteriously keeps me looking foward to training. i love it, i hope this never fades, i wanna play till my thirities too. btter still, play THROUGH my thirties.

2011-12-27T08:28:00.001-08:00

sometimes i still do miss you, but life is just too fucking busy nowadays, i'll give missing you a miss for the time being, maybe i will realize its not so much part of my life as i think it is.

aching body really helps. for the mind to be at peace, let the body be in pieces first

2011-12-26T19:37:00.001-08:00

Head above water. Observe even before shooting. Observe before getting the ball on a counter. Paddle with left hand so right hand is always ready.

2011-12-25T21:59:00.001-08:00

Think I fractured my toe, billy really got some solid goat legs man

2011-12-25T21:48:00.001-08:00

Fucky shooting day, damn bad shots man argh. Gotta get out of that imgonnashoot mode where I lose focus of the world but myself and shooting the ball. Fuckkkkkkkk need to train more

2011-12-25T02:01:00.001-08:00

Wow days without training can be so slow and dull. Despite waking up late at 11am (yea that's late for me), there just seen to be too much spare time left and the whole day is spent in this perpetual sleepiness. Merry Christ as everyone!

2011-12-24T01:59:00.001-08:00

You can never surpass a player that you admire

2011-12-23T22:28:00.001-08:00

Keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep was above water when swimmingKeep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep was above water when swimmingKeep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep was above water when swimmingKeep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep head above water when swimming keep was above water when swimming

Please fucking remember it

2011-12-22T06:19:00.001-08:00

Cause in another life, you will be my girl.

You are all that my life lacks to be complete now, I can't say I'm sad cause the rest of my life is awesome, it's just wasted

2011-12-22T05:31:00.001-08:00

Argh so fucking irritating, it's not bad playing but it's the little stupid mistakes that irks me much argh. Gotta cut down on them, I'm actually pretty happy cause I can feel that I'm slowly back to playing my highest level, soon, all there's left is improvement where I left off the last time. Days like these just make you feel out of the world happy but I'm kinda also ready for those reality check days/period of days where you just seem to play the crappiest ever where passes don't go where they should and shots just keep hitting the mfucking bar even in easy scenarios

2011-12-21T16:56:00.001-08:00

Snsd addiction is worse than smoking hahaha

2011-12-21T16:48:00.001-08:00

Proud to say I'm one it the last remaining blogger users heh

2011-12-21T01:34:00.001-08:00

Reading really makes me sleepy? Slightly over an hour of it and I'm dozin off, in a Starbucks somemore embarrassing max.

2011-12-19T19:50:00.001-08:00

Ever loved somebody so hard that you forgot to love yourself?

2011-12-19T05:31:00.001-08:00

Not tiring enough!!! Not satisfied yet argh, if it's not tiring it's not training

2011-12-18T21:51:00.001-08:00

Funny, my mum can't get over my brothers ex

2011-12-18T05:17:00.001-08:00

Argh I don't want to sign up for some fucking stupid english course to appease my parents, ok fine I have no choice but even if I have to take an English course, I dont wanna take the one that's so fucking difficult that even the angmohs there told me it will be fucking difficult sigh, and worse still I haven't checked it it will clash with training times. Plus it's a six month fucking commitment man.

And I'm kinda sorry for starting a fight with Eden though heh, angst max sorry bro!

Just finished we got married taeyeon version, sigh it's really nice she's really so cuteeee and pretttyyy and so funny!! Why must this fat man cheat on him! Not really a supporter of jelly pudding couple but jelly all the way!!! This is serious addiction man taeyeon!

Fighting!!!!!!!!!

2011-12-16T23:28:00.001-08:00

Actually felt quite good today, no really big mistakes just the small minor ones, slowly getting back to speed with the falling formation, I'm pretty fast I guess just gotta be able to play more at the top speed

2011-12-16T18:47:00.001-08:00

Snsd videos really make my day but ruin my life hahaha, a worthwhile sacrifice no doubt lol, at the pool now waiting for ten thirty training to start, it's ten forty five. Knnnn

2011-12-16T09:14:00.001-08:00

the more i play it the more i want it, its like an addiction to the fatigue of the body

2011-12-15T09:33:00.001-08:00

i wanna be faster, i know im meant to be faster than this comeon.
and fuck fuck fuck fuck my ball observation

2011-12-15T06:32:00.001-08:00

People tend to get or wrong, it's not that I don't tire, it's more like I cant allow myself to, in order to be the player I want myself to be and the person I want myself to be, im trying to curb that hyperactive attitude I used to have during games, need to conserve every bit for the next swim or the next counter.

2011-12-14T02:33:00.001-08:00

Some guys Are like trees, they take forever to grow up. Hahaha how fucking true!

Omg snsd videos are robbing me of my life!!!!!

2011-12-13T09:12:00.001-08:00

and this snsd craze is seriously going to make me single for life

2011-12-13T09:02:00.000-08:00

hahaha its damn tiring mannnn played game in school in the morning and then mega weights in the evening. and next weeks one is gonna be worse omg.

too lazy for a longer post but gotta love snsd videos, shallow like hell but satisfying like hell

2011-12-13T00:32:00.001-08:00

On days when you feel like shit, you just wanna stick one in and tell the world to fuck off

2011-12-12T10:08:00.001-08:00

WHY TAEYEON WHY SO PRETTTTYYYY

2011-12-12T09:20:00.001-08:00

play seriously, anytime anywhere, when did i actually think i could start playing as if im better than anyone. fucking remember it man

2011-12-10T01:56:00.001-08:00

Damn awesome now that I can blog from my iPhone hahaha save all those previous time at home heh. Oh my god yesterday's gotta be the most fun I had in quite a while hehe, snsd concert was super fucking awesome, I can wish for no better companion too, Zhonghan was a bloody idiot during the concert hahahaha, from our constant insults on our not so liked snsd members to the discussions of some of the weird fans present at the concert. The concert itself was on another level of spectacular-ness hahaha the visuals were damn crazy and the atmosphere was just high like hell, they are really loved I guess! Haha freaking hell I love the floating platforms where they sing On its super awesome!! Taeyeon Is really fucking fucking prettttrty, her singing is Damb sick too( heavy metal seriously!!) and Tiffany is super cool in real life too. Yoona is needless to say super flawless hahaha and I changes my mind about Jessica too, she's quite pretty and good at singing hahaha in gushing here like a fangirl hehe, after that had the craziest drinking with the guys, worst night ever with the best friends ever, wouldn't have it any other way heh. Shit that's gotta be the last time I ever emo drink, too old for that shit, gotta be the first time I drank to the point of memory loss haha, but best friends. Explains it all . I realize my singing isn't that bad when im drunk too hahaha

2011-12-09T18:17:00.001-08:00

Worst night ever with the best people ever

2011-12-08T09:35:00.001-08:00

i like to retreat into my little hole of physical fatigue whenever theres stuff i dont want to think about, not that it helps in the long run, but in the short run, it helps to know the hearts pain can be numbed by your body

2011-12-07T20:13:00.001-08:00

Then are the days like this, when you feel that it's not that bad to be with someone after all, but worry not, 90percent of the time I still feel that im too awesome to share my life with any other girl

2011-12-07T20:00:00.001-08:00

If I could do what he did, I would be a main character too haha

2011-12-07T07:30:00.001-08:00

faster stronger sharper

2011-12-06T17:47:00.001-08:00

I'm sure that at one point of time in life, everyone had somebody they would do anything for, but eventually we all transcend it, we no longer accept a new special person in but even a decade down the road later we would still do anything for that original someone. Guess future me has no power over past me.

2011-12-05T10:03:00.001-08:00

how do i put it, its just so... different.

finally back after a long vacation, i think im still myself best in the pool when i dont have time to think of anything else. when i just act on my instinct and follow trainings.

2011-12-04T06:30:00.001-08:00

yet sometimes i still manage a wry smile when i think of it all

2011-12-03T17:38:00.001-08:00

feels good not to be in the army, but i'll seriously miss the free weights session there with awesome people (namely me) sigh. but again, no one can give me shit like they do in army again.

2011-12-03T01:01:00.001-08:00

walked past botanic garden the other day, totally different from those days, its as if it has moved on with time, maybe telling me that its the same for me too. walking past that familiar road, but alone this time. somethings are really meant to be kept in your heart i guess

2011-12-02T18:38:00.001-08:00

and what the fuck was with that performance yesterday, i dont think i can call that playing polo at all. reminder to scold myself when im reflecting next time. that standard is just........................... i imagined myself playing better polo than that even on my worst days, but as usual, i outdo my expectations.

2011-12-02T18:30:00.001-08:00

finalllly ord!!!! god that was long and ardous. just in case you were wondering, im not going to post a long reflectiv post about army, maybe not yet anyway. haha the first is always the best, my first shift on pawai, i met the most awesome pawai rangers, minus wesley, and my first unit in army, i met the most awesome shit army buddies! met up to play soccer yesterday, super awesome ppl, made remember why i dint go mad in bmt. with all the shit that was going on then, i thought it was bound to happen sooner or later, but thank god for them, kept me grounded, sane and brought me smiles in a place i thought least likely to find it. 11pm to 1am soccer ftw, i feel like shit now cause of it hahahaha. pineapple tarts guys!

its like glass, once broken, the cracks will remain, no matter how hard we look through it, our image of each other will be cracked and distorted

2011-12-01T05:56:00.001-08:00

you deserve the best, i wish i could be the best, but i cant lie, not to you.

drunk since last night, fml

2011-11-29T08:09:00.001-08:00

i gotta start going training again man, or i will risk losing all my stuff. no, like literally, cause my bag has a hole and usually the only thing thats plugging the hole up and preventing all my smaller stuff from dropping out is my t raining bag hahaha. SNSSSSSDDDDD

2011-11-29T08:06:00.001-08:00

just a few km apart but it might as well have been fucking lightyears

2011-11-28T08:22:00.001-08:00

im secretly getting an ego boost from seeing page views on my blog. suckers HAHA

2011-11-28T08:17:00.001-08:00

you better run run, run run, run!!! OMG I SO WANNA WATCH SNSD NOW FMLLLLLLL!!

haha really nothing much on today, not much reflective ideas to talk about either. but seriously fuck the weather, its damn screwed up, it was all nice and sunny in the morning then the moment i changed to pt kit and wanted to go gym, it fucking stormed!! ok maybe i dint notice when it started storming cause i was napping hehe. FOUR MORE DAYS TO ORDDDD

and im damn hooked on to astronaut!!Can anybody hear me?

Am I talking to myself?My mind is running emptyIn this search for someone elseWho doesn't look right through me.It's all just static in my headCan anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?
'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxAnd I lost all signal when I lifted offNow I'm stuck out here and the world forgotCan I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and roundCan I please come down?
I'm deafened by the silenceIs it something that I've done?I know that there are millionsI can't be the only one who's so disconnectedIt's so different in my head.Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?
'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxAnd I lost all signal when I lifted offNow I'm stuck out here and the world forgotCan I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and round[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/astronaut-lyrics-simple-plan.html ]Can I please come down?
Now I lie awake and scream in the zero gravityAnd it's starting to weigh down on me.Let's abort this mission nowCan I please come down?
So tonight I'm calling all astronautsall the lonely people that the world forgotIf you hear my voice come pick me upAre you out there?'Cause you're all I've got!
And tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxAnd I lost all signal when I lifted offNow I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronautSending SOS from this tiny boxTo the lonely people that the world forgotAre you out there?'Cause you're all I've got!
Can I please come down?'Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round.Can I please come down? (x3)

2011-11-27T08:28:00.001-08:00

fuck man, 4 games 4 loss, seriously, am i not trying hard enough? FUCK THIS, i never want to lose again ARGH

i think it applies to many people, we just sit by idly but we still hope that we'll be the one to catch that special someone when he or she falls. but in our heart we sincerely wish that they never do because we only wish for his or her happiness and we dont know if we will be able to handle it if it actually happens.